Recruitment speech

Sometimes I have trouble rationalizing why people should take Latin. This is my compelling recruitment speech.

REASONS TO TAKE LATIN:

1.

2. I’m thinking, I’m thinking. Don’t rush me.

3. We have a secret handshake.

4.you don’t have to talk through your nose like in French. Really, does that sound romantic to you?

5. you don’t sound like you’re clearing your throat getting ready to spit like in German.

6. I have nothing against Spanish. Some of my best friends are Spanish teachers, but does that mean you have to take a class with them?

7. You learn a lot of big English words that you will spell incorrectly.

THE DARK SIDE OF LATIN

1. Latin is boot camp for grammar. It’s like the book, ” Everything you never wanted to know about grammar and had no intention of asking.”

2. No one speaks it anymore. On the other  hand, no one is around to laugh at your accent.

3. Did I mention you learn a lot of grammar?

4. Your Latin teacher has a short term memory loss problem.

5. People frequently say things like, “LATIN???? What are your taking THAT for?”

and when you don’t have a snappy comeback you feel inadequate.

Every student who reads this says the same thing.

“We have a secret handshake?”

Heard in the classroom

Zeus is the best god.  Next to Jesus.

In other words, you gotta grab  ’em by the genitives and twist them till they conjugate.

You called Africa? You mean the continent has a telephone?

Please take the desk off your head.

Latin. It’s almost like a foreign language.

If you don’t have a teacher’s edition, how do you know what this says?

It doesn’t say in the rules that you can’t cheat.