One day I saw this in a magazine. My reaction:  I GOTTA GET ME ONE OF THESE!  I could take it to school and put it in the student bathrooms.

No, I am not an 8 year old boy.

Then I realized that school bathrooms don’t have lids, and you have to attach it to a toilet seat lid. I was crestfallen. But I could give it as a gift! What a great gift! I knew just the person.

No, it was not an 8 year old boy.

I gave a woman over the age of 12 a toilet monster and she wasn’t remotely shocked, puzzled, or offended. She understood the joy it could bring. That was when I knew she was my friend.

I desperately wanted her to put it in the bathroom her three daughters used. She kept saying she was waiting for the “right moment.”   What right moment? You ply someone with water or beer and let nature take its course.

Isn’t it wonderful? And they come in assorted colors.

One night during a party, a friend of her son came in to use the facilities. They heard a shriek and then saw someone run outside and pee in the rhododendrons.

Her daughters had no reaction to the toilet monster at all.

I asked one, ” How can you not have a reaction to a toilet monster?”

She sighed.  ” You just don’t understand what our home life is like.”