Last night I texted my daughter.

” I hope you remember that I want a remote controlled inflatable shark for my birthday.”

My birthday coincides with one of my sophomores. This is the card I got her. “YOU’RE FOUR!”

I also gave her a princess crown and wand and some zombie body parts that grow in water. The dollar store is a magical place.

She handed me a soft five by six inch item wrapped in Christmas paper. If you’re reading this: CHEAPSKATE!

The following is what makes  me believe in astrology. Only someone like me would do this to someone like me.

I unwrapped it. There was a second layer gift wrapped. And a third. Then it was wrapped in saran wrap. Then more gift wrap. then more saran wrap. It took me ten solid minutes to get to the center. There were 42 layers of wrap. Yes. I counted.

And what I find at the center is this: a 3×5 index card that says : Happy Birthday! HA! Love, name name name name name.

Me:  You shouldn’t have. Really.

Then some others got up with the real gift. A remote controlled inflatable killer whale , five feet long.

Does it get any better than this? I couldn’t wait to tell the French teacher.

Whale sans fins.

She stared off into space with a perplexed look on her face for a long time. Finally she said

“This does not bode well for me.”

You betcha.