The French teacher stomped in  my room today and asked whether I put the squishy eyeball on her mouse pad.

? ( What, at this point she has to ask? Talk about your slow learners.)

Me: Of course I did. Did you put these cows in here?

An alarming number of cows have appeared in my classroom lately.  This is not, as my daughter unkindly suggested, a pejorative remark regarding my students.

Plastic cows. Wooden cows. Cow pinwheels. Today alone I found three.

One still has a price tag attached.

There are at least a dozen cows in my room with no established provenance.

I confronted the French teacher. Twice. The German teacher. Twice. My friend the monkey ( I’ll explain elsewhere) twice. Two of my students.They all deny culpability. Most laugh, but that’s just scheudenfreude. ( a sadistic pleasure in the sufferings of others)

However, a few things baffle me.

WHERE DO YOU FIND ALL THESE COWS?  It isn’t like there’s a local cow store you drop by and stock up.

WHO WOULD SPEND ALL THIS MONEY ? Of course, I’ve spent at least 100 dollars annoying the French teacher, but that’s me. Most other people are more fiscally responsible.

WHAT IS THE MOTIVE?  The French teacher has motive but not the drive.  Students? Do they all have cars and money to drive around buying  cows on stands, carved cows, plastic nesting cows, china cows, cow  magnets, cow pinwheels?

REWARD OFFERED FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO PERSON OR PERSONS UNKNOWN COMMITTING COW ABANDONMENT.