Sometimes when I text my daughter, days will go by before I get a response. This past week it was four days. I usually have to text something that will jolt her into a response, but she randomly left a response at 3 A.M.
At a more normal hour…
Me: I was about to text you that after the explosion, our house fell into a sinkhole and we are living in a tent on the sidewalk.
Her: I spent yesterday sleeping.
Me: Aren’t you even worried about us getting frostbite living in a tent? That’s ok. Ignore the woman who suffered in labor 9 hours to bring you into the world.
Her: Where did the tent come from?
Me: The rescue mission. I could have been driving a new car. But no. We bought you a thimble instead.
( For those who do not read this blog, we bought her a boat when she was ten. When asked what special thing she got for Christmas, she replied, “I got a thimble!“)
Her: The thimble definitely would cut into those car savings, that’s true. Especially if you get the thimble at the rescue mission. They just jack up thimble prices like nobody’s business.
Me: We got you the best thimble money could buy. You only talk to me for my entertainment value.
Her: When I’m low on tweets, really.
Me: I am so showing up at your office unannounced wearing pink hair curlers. And white socks with sandals. And I will address you as “pumpkin” in a loud carrying voice.
Her: And everyone will say, that explains a lot.
Me: Meet me at the elevator. I’m wearing clogs.
Her: 🙂 ( a smiley face? )
Me: You wait. I’ll take my birthday off and inconveniently appear. You don’t take me seriously.
Her: And that is so strange given your somber demeanor.
Me: Hey, I can be funereal and lugubrious if need be. And morose.
Her: You just like using words with lots of vowels and/or syllables
Me: What’s the matter? Did you have to look them up?
Her: You do know I’m still at work, right? ( ah, now we’re getting defensive)
Me: I can’t help it if you waste too much time thinking up witty comebacks.
Because she could have answered all the other posts at 3 AM too.